Five
weeks passed under a constant drizzle after the three girls returned home from
their vacation getaway on the coast. Five weeks, two days, nineteen-and-a-half
hours without sunbeams cutting through a stagnant blanket of gray clouds. Though
her eyes habitually looked skyward, Safire hardly noticed the lack of sunlight.
She could not get Aquarius off her mind or out of her daydreams. Granted, Jen
and Brook did not make it any easier for her, the way they found reasons to constantly
bring up the fact that, “getting his phone number wouldn’t have been that
difficult, you know.”
“Seriously,
Saf. I hate seeing you brood over a guy like this.”
“I’m
not brooding.”
“I
don’t know if I’ve ever seen her brood this long over a guy,” Brook told Jen, reflecting
on the timid girl’s short list of past suitors.
Safire
dared to raise her voice just a little, hoping for a gentle hint of conviction
in her tone. “I’m not brooding.”
“Well,
I would be,” Jen admitted before
pointing out for the hundredth time. “That man was sexy-gorgeous and sexy-charming
and definitely more mature than you. I don’t know what in the world you did to
snag him, but he was totally into you.”
Safire
could feel her face flush hot with embarrassment. “I didn’t do anything; he
just wanted company, that’s all. He was there on business and didn’t care to
eat alone. I mean, it only makes sense. I saw him at breakfast time and dinner time—mealtimes,
that was it.”
“I
wouldn’t’ve minded keeping his company anytime,”
Jen sighed dreamily.
Safire
shrugged a shoulder as if she could not care less. “It wouldn’t have bothered
me.”
Jen
and Brook cast a skeptical glance at one another. “Yeah, right,” the girls
voiced with simultaneous sarcasm. The two
snickered at their friend’s expense, certain her tense mannerisms and long face
conveyed a totally different story.
Brook
reached to manually lift the corners of Safire’s mouth. The effort was unappreciated.
“Quit
brooding, Saf.”
“I
told you, I’m not brooding.”
“Oh
yeah? Then why do we never see a smile on that freckled face of yours anymore?”
Safire
grimaced at the mention of her freckles. It was her least favorite distinctive trait,
other than the humiliating fact that she was deathly afraid of water—more
specifically of drowning. Aquarius had liked her freckles, though. He had
called them gold flecks fallen from her golden hair, sparkling like diamonds
all over her skin. The memory of his flattering words made her sigh sadly. She
snapped out of it in time to find two pitying expressions aimed at her.
“If
that isn’t a classic case of brooding, I don’t know what is.”
“Maybe
it’s worse. Maybe she’s mourning.”
“I’m
not mourning,” Safire insisted irritably, “and I’m not brooding either.” She
stood up as if to leave, but then remembered they were in her apartment. The only other thing she could think to do was
pretend to straighten up a perfectly tidy room and ignore the scrutiny of her
friends. Perhaps shifting the topic of conversation would work.
“I
read in the news that the beach we stayed at closed due to shark sightings. I
hope no one got hurt before they vacated the area.”
Brook
waved it off as nothing. “Wade told me that kinda thing happens all the time. Some
kook surfer imagined a couple of big tailfins, and suddenly the beach was
evacuated. Precautionary measures.”
“Wade’s
still calling you?”
Brook
blushed, feigning a minor, lovesick swoon. “Yes, yes he is……because he has my phone number which I gave to him.”
Safire
rolled her eyes. Hint noted—yet again. “I told you, Aquarius never asked me for
my phone number.”
Jen
and Brook shook their heads in a disappointed manner and spoke lowly to one
another. “She’s never gonna get it.”
“Nope.
She’s hopeless.”
“Total
lost cause.”
Shifting
her posture to make her sit up taller, Jen proudly announced, “Troy called me
last night. We talked for two hours. He said he really misses me.”
“Wade
said the same thing to me,” Brook chimed in. “He mentioned maybe taking a trip
this way one of these days. I wish it wasn’t such a long drive to go see them;
I’d love to visit the coast again. Wouldn’t that be fun?”
Safire
mentally muted the conversation as Brook and Jen dove into comparing enviable
notes about their long-distance relationships. She was actually amazed that
Wade and Troy had kept in touch for so long after spending only a week of
vacation time in the girls’ company. But there was a lot to miss about Brook
and Jen. The two were fun, smart, young, available, freckle-free, tanned
beauties. A frown naturally tugged on Safire’s lips as she wondered if Aquarius
ever entertained even a passing thought about her. How she wished she had been sensible
enough—brave enough—to get his phone number. But it had never seemed like the
kind of thing to request from him, as if owning a cell phone was contrary to
his nature.
Her thoughts turned to the
souvenir he left her—the conch shell with its written treasure tucked inside—the
last line in particular…
I promise, you will be in my thoughts
always.
He
had promised he would think of her. Maybe it was true; maybe he did. But what
did it matter if they were now forever apart? The question brought up another
curious line penned by Aquarius, one she read over countless times.
…if you
find yourself near the ocean again, blow on this shell and think of me. Think
hard of me, Safire.
What
good would that do? The idea was most likely nothing more than a sweet sentiment
jotted down with no real meaning other than to form fantasies in her dreams where
she might call on a lost love. No doubt, Aquarius was a seasoned romantic who
knew how to play a young, naïve girl bearing an obvious crush on him. It was
silly—an act that would produce no real results. Obviously, it was sentimental
gibberish. Surely, Aquarius had moved on to his next work assignment and was busy
charming another unsuspecting female whose company he wished to keep—some pretty,
young thing who would prevent his evenings from passing in loneliness. He was a
charmer by his own admittance.
But never
insincere.
Never?
Could she believe that?
Safire
groaned at her own wishful thinking. What did it matter anyway? Aquarius was
long gone; he would not be calling on her. And attempting to call him by
blowing on a conch shell—the very idea was ludicrous.
The
sky cleared up on a Sunday afternoon. Safire noticed it when she opened her
front door for Brook and Jen. They bounced into her apartment, both grinning
wide and ready to burst.
“You’re
never going to guess what we have to
tell you!”
“Not
ever!”
“Go
ahead, go ahead, guess!”
“Yes,
yes, Saf, take a guess!”
Safire
glanced from one eager face to the next, noting the shimmer of enthusiasm in
their eyes. She made a reasonable deduction based on the topic that had
dominated their latest conversations. “Wade and Troy are coming here to see
you.”
Jen
bit her lip, still smiling, while Brook shook her head in quick, short jerks.
Safire
took another stab. “You’re going to the coast to see them?”
The
giddy girls jumped up and down, bursting out, “Yes, yes, you got it! How’d you know?”
“Oh…
lucky guess.” Safire could not keep from smiling at their animated delight.
She
was dragged to the couch in her own front room and made to sit between the pair.
Jen and Brook dropped onto the sofa on bended knees, facing Safire from either
side, taking turns spilling all the details while bouncing excitedly on the
cushions.
“Wade
called me and mentioned that a three-day weekend was coming up.”
“Yeah,
Labor Day weekend.”
“And
he said that his friend, Troy—”
“My Troy,” Jen cut in, beaming, pointing
at her own chest.
“Of
course,” Brook groaned, too elated to manage a cross tone. “Anyway, Wade said
that Troy said that his parents own a cute, little cottage on the beach that
was supposed to be rented out for the holiday—”
“—except
now it’s going to sit empty because someone died or got divorced or whatever… I
don’t remember.”
“So
he offered it to us!”
“To
us!”
“For
free!”
“Yeah,
for nothin’!”
“We
get an entire, adorable, beachfront cottage to ourselves for less than a penny
a day for the whole three-day weekend!”
Jen and Brook squealed simultaneously.
“Isn’t
that great, Saf?” They ceased rejoicing to look expectantly at their hostage,
waiting for a decent reaction.
“That
is great—Wade, Troy, and you two sharing
a cottage for three days—that’s um, really great!”
Safire
felt a weak slap on her shoulder. “Don’t be silly. Wade and Troy have their own
place to stay. It’ll be a girl’s retreat—just us three.”
“Yes,
Saf, we want you to come too.”
“Right.”
A note of doubt came out stronger than Safire had intended.
“We
do!” Brook insisted. “I mean, of course we’ll spend time with the guys, but we
want you there, Saf. Please? It’ll be fun, like vacation.”
“And
maybe Aquarius will show up.”
Safire
flashed a glance at Jen who smiled crookedly, knowingly, in response. Jen
played on that look of hope.
“He’s
an undersea hire who loves the ocean—you said so yourself. And it’s only been a
few weeks. There’s a good chance he’ll still be working in the area.”
Brook
joined in. “He’s probably hanging out on the beach pining over you this very
minute.”
“Yeah,”
agreed Jen. “He’s probably brooding, the same way you’ve been brooding over him
ever since we left the coast.”
“Hoping
you’ll come back—”
“—to
fall into his lonely arms—”
“—where
he’ll hug you and squeeze you and kiss you all over—”
“Okay,
enough! You two are awful.”
“So
you’ll come with us?”
Safire
sighed, thinking it over. The lure of possibly seeing Aquarius again was too
tempting to turn down, no matter how infinitesimal the actual chances.
“Fine,
yes. But only if you promise to stop pestering me.”
“We
promise, we promise,” the two declared. They bounced on the sofa, once again celebrating
the upcoming trip. Jen added an afterthought.
“And
you know, Saf, if it does turn out that Aquarius is gone… well… Troy happens to
have a cousin who might hang out with us for a while. He’s in law school. Maybe
you two will hit it off.”
Safire
managed a feeble smile at the suggestion, but she could not imagine anyone filling
the shoes of her Aquarius. Anticipation was already building in her chest,
despite the fact that the reasonable part of her brain calculated a slim chance
they would ever experience a coincidental meeting again. Checking her calendar,
she realized there were two full weeks before Labor Day weekend. That was a
long time to anxiously await the opportunity to test out the crazy notion
brewing in her head.
Two
days before the Friday of Labor Day weekend (which Safire had requested off at
the law firm where she was employed) a knock sounded at her front door late in
the evening. Seeing through a peep hole that it was Brook, Safire turned the
knob and pulled open the door. A knot formed in the pit of her stomach upon first
sight of her best friend. There was no bounce in her step, and despite a reapplication
of makeup, it was fairly evident she had been crying.
Safire
followed her slouching friend into the front room where Brook fell into the
corner of the couch and dropped her face into a throw pillow. Safire stood and
listened to the muffled screams endured by the puffy cushion. When Brook finally
ceased, her observant friend ventured the obvious question.
“Is
something wrong?”
There
was a drawn-out, dismal moan. “Yes, Safire. I’m really sorry.”
Hesitation
preceded the next obvious question. “Sorry… for what?”
Brook
wiped under her eyes at a fresh rise of moisture. Her gaze remained fixed on
the pillow in her lap. “The trip is off. I’m sorry if this causes you any
inconvenience.”
Safire
felt her heart—buoyed by hope for nearly two weeks now—deflate and sink. She had
entertained far too hazardously the fantasy of meeting up with Aquarius again. And
now all hope was to be extinguished because of… why?
“Why?”
she breathed aloud, unable to do anything but stand in place like a stone
pillar.
Brook
clenched her jaw and glanced up at the ceiling, avoiding eye contact. The move
exposed heavily bloodshot eyes. Safire felt a swell of sympathy for her friend
until she spoke up.
“Because
all men are scum, that’s why. You’re lucky that smooth-talking Romeo, Aquarius,
didn’t get your number; he would’ve broken your heart after stringing you along
with false flattery and long-distance promises he never meant to keep. Every
decent, respectable woman is better off without a man—better off not being
jerked around by those cheating, double-crossing, two-timing con artists!”
Safire
tangled up her face and pressed both hands against her stomach. In no way could
she imagine Aquarius living up to such a harsh description. She was unsure of
what to say or what to ask of her friend, but Brook did not wait for a plea to
continue.
“Wade
called to see if we were still planning on coming for the weekend. I, of
course, excitedly told him yes—as if we hadn’t discussed it just two days ago! He
acted like everything was okay—said we were still invited to stay at Troy’s
parents’ beach house—but he didn’t sound very enthusiastic. He sounded bummed
about it, so I pressed him to tell me what was bothering him. Finally, after
grilling him, he admitted there was a problem. ‘A minor glitch’, he said. Yeah,
right. Well, come to find out Troy’s been seeing his ex-girlfriend behind Jen’s
back, and now, apparently, they’re an item… again. No one was planning on
saying a word to Jen! The coward was going to feign the flu and avoid her so he
could spend the entire weekend cheating on her!”
“That’s
awful,” Safire said, and then cautiously asked, “but, they were still willing
to let you use the cottage for the weekend?”
“Yes,
and I nearly agreed to go because I wanted to see Wade. It didn’t occur to me he
was just as bad as Troy.”
Safire’s
eyebrows slanted. “What do you mean?”
“The
jerk actually tried to defend his cheating friend’s behavior! ‘Troy didn’t mean
for this to happen,’ he said. ‘He’d never really gotten over his past
girlfriend’, he said. ‘You can’t force a person to love someone or to stop
loving someone,’ he said. I couldn’t believe it! I told him those were lousy
excuses for complete deceit and betrayal. He came back with ‘It’s not betrayal
if you’re not in a real relationship; all they ever shared were phone calls.’ I
tried to set him straight because that is most certainly not the only thing
they ever shared. They exchanged words of promise and love—heartfelt words that
insinuated an exclusive relationship regardless of whether or not it was
long-distance.”
Brook
folded her arms across her chest and hugged herself. Safire’s heart ached watching
her struggle to stop crying.
“Wade told me the biggest problem with women
is we read things into men’s words that aren’t there.” Brook turned her head
and spoke at the wall, wiping at a spilt tear. “He said ‘Long-distance
relationships never work out anyway, everyone knows that.’ So I told him
exactly what he could do with his cell phone to make sure he didn’t waste any
more minutes on our pathetic,
long-distance relationship since it was doomed to failure! And I’m pretty sure
I was explicit enough that he didn’t have to read anything into my words.”
With
the story out, Brook broke down and cried. Safire was quick to move from the spot
where she had been rigidly standing to sit at her best friend’s side. The two
hugged through a short session of weeping.
“Oh,
Brook, it’ll be okay,” Safire breathed repeatedly. “It’ll be okay.”
Eventually,
the heartbroken girl pushed away to rise and search for a tissue. Safire remained
weighted in her seat by a heavy heart. How stupid was it to ache over losing a
shot-in-the-dark chance to run into Aquarius again?
“I’m
sorry, Saf. I know you were looking forward to this trip.”
“I was,
sort of,” Safire admitted. “I took the whole day off Friday so we could leave
early.”
“Crap,
that’s right, you used a vacation day for us.” Brook smacked a hand against her
forehead. “Ugh! I’m so sorry.”
It
was dead quiet for a long moment before a mumbled suggestion broke the uncomfortable
pause.
“You
could go by yourself. I mean if you really had your heart set on it.”
Safire
felt a flutter in her chest as hope slipped in again. But wait…
“What
about you and Jen?”
Brook
managed a tiny, crooked smile. “I don’t think we’re invited anymore. Probably
more like banished forever. But not you, Saf—Wade loves you. Just call and ask
if he or Troy mind you coming alone. I’m sure no one will care, especially
given that the house is sitting empty.”
Safire
swallowed hard, fearful and yet desirous. “I, um… I can’t go alone.”
“Sure
you can. Besides, the beach will be full of people. If you want company, you’re
bound to meet someone—maybe even a certain tall, dark, and handsome someone?”
Safire’s
cheeks would have blushed red if not for the anxiety stealing her color. She
yearned to go search the shores for Aquarius, but to drive that distance alone…
Brook
went to crouch before her friend. With a hand on each knee, she convinced her
to brave an adventure.
“Don’t
think, just do it. You have a cell phone if you need to call for anything. Wade
and Troy will be there, so you’ll know at least two people. Don’t worry about me
or Jen, we’ll live. I’ll feel like a total heel for ruining your weekend and
wasting your vacation day if you don’t go, Saf. Just go. Go. Go!”
“Okay,
okay.” Safire made a face that seemed to shift through a range of emotions in a
heartbeat—anxious, excited, sick, and frightened altogether. “Fine… fine, I’ll
go.”
A
brief call to Troy granted her full permission to use the empty beach house; he
even politely added that it was okay for Jen and Brook to come along. Safire
thanked him kindly.
That
night she dreamt of Aquarius. It was a sweet yet bizarre dream where the two
were wrapped up in each other’s arms, kissing, so entirely absorbed in a moment
of bliss that neither was aware or even remotely concerned about the ocean swallowing
them whole and casting them to the depths of a bottomless sea. Safire awoke in
the morning gasping for air, grateful to discover it was indeed air and not
water surrounding her.
That
evening after work she packed her things in a little two-door sedan and then
tried to get some sleep. After tossing and turning for most of the night, she
decidedly slipped out of bed well before sunrise. There was nothing keeping her
from leaving—no traveling partners to wait for and no reason to torture herself
any longer with an extended delay. Locking up her apartment, Safire turned her
eyes skyward where she found the constellation, Aquarius, and smiled at the god
of rain.
“Please,
please, Aquarius, meet me there,” she whispered to the stars.
Twelve
hours later, having stopped necessarily at gas stations only twice, she rolled
into the same familiar seaside tourist town and followed directions to a cute,
little getaway cottage reserved the entire weekend just for her. It was an
adorable beach house separate from public sands, yet within easy view of the crowds.
A wide, covered deck extended from the house toward the ocean, equipped with cushioned
patio furniture. The key to the lock, left under a twisted stump of driftwood
on the front porch, worked without a snag.
Safire
entered the front room, dropped her baggage, and then immediately headed for
the rear deck. She was down the back steps and hustling toward the beach when
it occurred to her she had just finished a daylong trip without once stopping
to freshen up. A quick brush through her hair and a little mouthwash seemed worth
the time.
Swiveling
around on her heels, hoping she had not forgotten to pack her toothbrush,
Safire gasped, nearly shrieking at the sudden presence of a tall, male figure.
“Sorry,
Saffy, sorry.” Wade had two hands raised as if warding off a real scream from
the girl. “I didn’t mean to startle you, I swear, honest, but you seemed like
you were in such a hurry; I was trying to catch up.”
Safire
nodded, breathing a word of receipt for his apology. When her heart settled
down, she managed a timid smile.
Wade
also appeared uneasy. He stammered out an explanation for his being there. “I
uh, I just wanted to welcome you back to town, and… and to see if you had
everything you need… or if you needed something, you know… else. Something
you’d forgotten. Like a beach towel or a bathing suit or uh, I don’t know… stuff
you might’ve forgotten.”
Safire
nodded her understanding. “Thanks, Wade. I’m good… I mean as long as it’s still
okay I’m here.”
“Yeah,
yeah, of course! All three of you could’ve come; that would’ve been great, or
uh… fine. But I see you came alone?”
Safire
nodded that his observation was correct.
Her
tall, lanky greeter shrugged his shoulders indifferently, but a sag at the
corners of his mouth told a different story. He took a step backwards as if he
would leave but then paused, reconsidering. He sighed heavily before speaking
up again.
“Look,
Saf, I’m sorry about this whole mess. I never meant for things to turn out like
this. I really, really like Brook, that’s the truth. But Troy—he’s my best
friend, even if he is a completely insensitive idiot. I wasn’t trying to make
Brook mad, and I’m truly sorry for that, but I can’t be expected to badmouth my
buddy. Friends have to support each other. Do you understand—even a little
bit?”
Wade
screwed up his face in such a pitiably vulnerable way it was difficult for her
not to laugh. “I do understand.”
His
countenance washed smooth with relief at her words.
“And
Wade, I think Brook would understand too if you explained it to her just like
you did to me.” Safire watched him swallow hard, considering her advice.
His
head gave a vague nod. “Yeah, maybe. Anyway, I’m glad you made it here safe and
sound. I can drop by and check on you now and then if you’d like—you know, in
case you’re bored or want company or need the boogie man chased off.”
They
both chuckled, but Safire agreed to have him or Troy check in on her occasionally.
Wade took a few steps rearward toward the driveway, moving and speaking in a more
relaxed manner while retreating.
“Hey,
Saffy, we’re having a bonfire tomorrow night on the beach—free dinner, lobsters
included. You’re invited if you want to come meet some of the gang.”
“Thanks. I’ll think about it.” She slowly
climbed the steps onto the deck, stopping in place when Wade came to a halt a
few yards off. His face tightened up again.
“Oh
and uh, if you were thinking of looking for that guy, Aquarius…… well, just a
heads up—I haven’t seen him anywhere around since you gals left here last time.
I’ve kinda been keeping an eye out because Brook asked me too. She wanted me to
get his phone number for you.” Wade conveyed his sincerest apology in a gesture.
“Sorry, Saf. But hey… Troy has a cousin visiting this weekend, Callan—real nice
guy, good sense of humor, not so fond of the water, kinda like you.”
“Oh,
’kay, uh, well maybe.”
“Think
about it. And enjoy your time on the beach today. Hunt me down if you wanna go
snorkeling!”
She
hurried inside, listening to Wade’s tires squeal their departing goodbye. Her
back rested against the door after it closed, one hand grasping the pull
handle. Her gaze locked onto the pile of baggage she had dumped on the carpet
across the room. It was the only untidy spot in the minimally decorated, open
arrangement. The house was dim indoors. It was empty and cold, much like Wade’s
news had left her feeling. Discouragement made her slip toward the floor before
catching herself from sliding clear down. What a waste of time to have driven hours
to get there when a simple call to Wade could have provided the answer to her
question—was Aquarius gone?
She
hung her head, accepting reality. Why had she dared to believe her latest
dreams were actually beckoning portents? Only in fairy tales did princes,
kings, and gods wait around for the return of a woman. It had been a longshot
that his job had kept him stationed nearby, but apparently it was not so. Recognizing
this likelihood beforehand—knowing the depth of disappointment it would
bring—did not make the truth any easier to bear.
Safire
glanced up at a beige loveseat pinned between matching end tables. She moved
towards them—forgetting why she had stepped back inside—and prepared to plop
down on the cushions. Her sandals hit the edge of the couch when she kicked
them off, but before taking a seat, she paused, remembering her plan had been
to look for a toothbrush. It seemed pointless now, unless she meant to kiss her
pillow later on. Glancing at the pile of luggage, she recollected something she
had made a point to pack. Her heartbeat
picked up at the thought, and within seconds the treasure was freed from its protective
packaging— Aquarius’ conch shell.
The
words penned in his letter rang out loud in her mind. “…if you find yourself near the ocean
again, blow on this shell and think of me. Think hard of me, Safire.”
This
was the reason she had come. It was crazy, admittedly. It was ludicrous,
absurd, senseless, insane, whatever laughable term anyone wanted to call it;
nonetheless, the fact was every fantasy about the man whose likeness she had
branded in a constellation would never be put to rest, never fade under a smoldering
ember of hope, until she did as the letter instructed.
Safire
freshened up quickly. With the treasure tucked in her handbag, she scurried across
the back deck, down a set of steps, and headed off barefoot for the beach.
The
sun hung at her back, not yet low enough to bleed colors into the sky but clearly
heralding evening hours. Safire searched the long stretch of seashore,
purposefully steering near groups of people, her eyes alert and observant. Normally,
she would watch the clouds overhead or gawk at the broad ocean, imagining misted
sailboats skimming through fog or sea monsters lurking in the depths… stalking…
waiting to snatch surfers from curling waves. But today her eyes were intent on
taking in every figure within sight—male, female, moving, stationary, on land, in
the water. Quite possibly, Wade had been careless in his search for Aquarius
and failed to recognize his profile from a distance. No one’s desire to find
the man could compare to her own. It was when the air chilled to a point she
longed for a jacket that Safire gave up her search. Noticing how the sun had turned
red, sinking behind public resorts, Safire headed for the empty stretch of shoreline
fronting her beach house.
Her
fingers slipped inside her shoulder bag. A spiked edge of shell rubbed against
her thumb, feeling like a row of teeth on a hair comb. With darkness looming,
and her hunt ending unfruitful, it seemed the time had come to utilize the
conch shell—one last, crazy option. It was an act she would perform on an
isolated section of beach. No one need witness her insanity.
Far
from open view, Safire stepped toward the reaching tide to where her footprints
vanished in moist sand. At the water’s fringe where airy foam came to die, she
stopped and planted both feet apart. A pale, coral moon greeted her from the far
side of the world, so nearly-spherical it appeared whole. The conch shell came
out of hiding and Safire gripped it with both hands. She closed her eyes,
remembering, and thought hard of Aquarius. His face took shape immediately,
including a perceptive smile that always rested on his lips. She breathed in
the memory of his smell, how he reminded her of the briny ocean. She imagined
the soft and low way his voice touched her ears with every charming phrase formed
by his tongue. She pictured him standing before her with his long, black curls
and eyes like the night, deep and penetrating and full of mystery. She thought
so hard she could feel his touch on her cheek as if it were real—careful yet
sure. She twisted her neck before opening her eyes, hoping to feel his fingers brush
across her lips. But no one was behind her.
Suffering
a slump in the pit of her stomach, she brought the conch shell up to her mouth,
tentatively placing the narrow end against her lips. Mustering the courage to cross
a clear line of reason, yet fearing that exhausting this last resort would
crumble all hope of ever laying eyes on her Aquarius again, Safire drew in a
deep breath and blew. The sound was anything but lovely—a shrill, discordant bleat.
It was a pitiful cry that mimicked the desperation governing her actions. Safire
glanced around, partially looking for curious observers but mostly hoping
against all odds to glimpse the man whose image was engraved in her mind. Only
the moon’s face stared back at her, blushing as if embarrassed by her absurd behavior.
Again,
she blew on the conch shell…… and then again… and again… and again. And why
not? No dignity remained to salvage. No hope either.
She inhaled
deeply at the final bleat, feeling the cool, ocean air enter her lungs. It
tasted of him. On the brink of tears, Safire held her breath, feeling the utter
fool. A sudden breeze whipped strands of golden hair in her face, which she
habitually brushed behind one ear. The same ear tilted, suddenly alert at a
low-spoken sound—the utterance of her name. Her eyes widened, and she twirled about
in the sand, dropping her cherished shell in the process.
Aquarius
stood on the beach before her. He looked exactly as he had the first time she
had laid eyes on him—tan shorts, wet hair, high collar and all. She raised a
hand as if to touch his skin, to check that his presence was indeed real and
not some ambitious dream, but her fingers stopped short, mortified. Her eyes
dropped to the conch shell at her feet which Aquarius stooped to pick up.
Safire
stammered an explanation for her bizarre behavior. “Y..you said in your letter……
y..you wrote that if I were ever at the beach again…… y..you wrote to do this.”
“I
know.”
“H… how
is it possible….?” Entirely dumbfounded by his sudden appearance, she could
hardly form words to ask.
Aquarius
smiled as if amused by the questions or by her ineptness. “I must confess, I saw
you on the beach earlier, but I was in the water at the time. I couldn’t chase
you down. Then I heard you call me with this—” He lifted the shell in his
hands. “—and I knew to follow the sound.”
“It
was crazy of me, I know…”
“It
was touching.”
Safire
looked into his eyes searching for sincerity, and she believed what she saw. Here
he was—her god of rain, her constellation, her motive for folly—so close that
his warmth and smell fused with her own aura. She yearned to close the short gap
between them, to step into him, but her legs felt paralyzed, her feet cemented as
if the shore had turned to quicksand.
She
uttered the truth. “I missed you so much.”
Again
he smiled, but the expression was void of all humor. “I missed you too. Terribly.”
Then
all at once she was in his arms, unsure of who had budged first. The conch
shell fell to the ground as they kissed under coral moonlight, reacquainted as
if time had never come between them, not caring at all if witnessing eyes noticed
their intimacy. When Aquarius brought his lips to the top of her head, she
hugged him close, hearing his heartbeat pound like a bass drum in her ear. He wrapped
his arms around her possessively.
“I
can’t tell you how much it means to me that you’ve returned.”
Safire
spoke against his chest, warmed both inside and out. “I didn’t think you’d be
here. I was certain you left weeks ago, but I couldn’t quit thinking of you,
and I couldn’t call because I never got your number, so I had to come, just to
see… just to try…”
“And
I’m so glad you did. I’ve been unable to leave this place after letting you go in
the cowardly manner I arranged. I’m sorry I didn’t meet you in person that
morning…”
“It’s
okay.”
“No,
it’s not okay, but at the time I was certain I couldn’t bear another parting. The
thought of having to watch you walk out of my sight, knowing I couldn’t chase
after you… it seemed an excruciating form of torture. It’s been so hard having
only your memory to keep me company.” Aquarius took her gently by each side of
the head and turned her face up to gaze upon. “But you’re here now. You’ve come
back to me.”
“Yes.”
Her head nodded as best it could within his grasp. “I’ve never missed another
soul like I missed you.”
He
smiled happily at her words.
“May
I please have your phone number so I can call you from now on rather than feel my
only choice is to blow on that awful-sounding horn?”
He chuckled
lightly and dropped his hands from her face, taking her by the waist to walk
side by side. “We can take care of that later, Safire. Right now, I’m starving
for dinner, and I’m betting you haven’t eaten either.”
“I
haven’t,” she admitted.
“Then
please, let me provide for you.”
Safire
recalled how sweetly unusual those words had sounded the first time he spoke
them to her, offering to provide a shared meal. “I would like that.”
They
walked a few yards before she realized her conch shell was still in the sand
behind them. “Wait… my shell.” She attempted to turn around, but Aquarius kept ahold
of her.
“You
won’t need it again,” he said, “I promise.”
“But
I want it; it’s dear to me.”
“Very
well.” He motioned for her to stay put while he reclaimed her treasure. When she
tucked it safely away in her bag, she thanked him.
Dinner
was a vegetarian plate at a table outside their old breakfast haunt. Familiar,
white Christmas lights glowed dimly on the deck, spiraled around several thick,
wooden pillars. Safire relished the sound of his voice each time Aquarius spoke,
though the silence too felt precious. Frequently, her eyes strayed to the
rising moon, watching it glimmer luminescent-white like the stars. More than
once she smiled at romantic thoughts—the evening too perfect not to be a dream.
“This
day has turned out better than I dared hope,” she said.
Aquarius
squeezed the freckled fingers entwined with his own. “I know.”
The
moon was at its height when Aquarius walked with Safire along a span of quiet
beach. Unconcealed by clouds, it appeared like a hole in a blackened dome letting
only minimal light shine through. The tide was rising, extending further inland
at every stretch of the ocean’s arm. When a wave unrolled ashore, reaching far enough
to wet her bare feet, Safire danced on tiptoe trying to avoid it. She could
only manage to swing around to Aquarius’ other side; he would not release her
hand.
“You
know the water won’t hurt you, Safire.”
“Yes,
I know… I’m just… um…” Her face turned red, embarrassed by her enduring childhood
phobia. Looking down, she noticed how his sandals kept his own feet dry. “You’re
not getting your feet wet either.”
He
smiled that perceptive smile of his. “I’ve been submerged underwater most of
the day. How about you?”
Her
shoulders rose, thinking quickly for a wise answer. “I didn’t have an
opportunity to be in the water all day; I just got here.”
“There’s
opportunity now.” He didn’t go on to make the request he had made every night
during their previous time together. She waited, expecting him to invite her
into the water, but the invitation never came. Eventually, she answered his
silence, certain of what was on his mind.
“If
I could swim without anxiety, Aquarius…”
He
interrupted her. “I’m not asking you to take a swim with me.”
Her
eyes enlarged, both surprised and confused. “But… you asked me to every day
before.”
“I
know. And I realize it was cruel to pressure you. I only did it because I was
certain if you were to enter the water with me, just once, your fears would cease.”
“I
doubt that.”
“I
don’t.”
Her
eyes scrunched regarding him, wondering at his confidence. She wished there was
a way to suppress the panic that consumed her at even a passing thought of merging
with the water, but fear of drowning had possessed her for too long; it ran far
too deep to easily exhume and cast aside.
“You
don’t have to swim with me, Safire. That said, it would make me very happy if I
could see you get your feet wet without scuttling away. Do you think you could
do that?”
“Get
my feet wet? Just my feet? That’s all?”
“Yes.
That’s all.”
They
halted their walk, and Aquarius watched her closely, anticipating an answer. It
seemed like a reasonable compromise, far easier than embracing the ocean. Safire
wanted badly to do it—to prove she was somewhat courageous at least. She wanted
to make him happy.
“I
can get my feet wet,” she agreed before whispering to herself, “I think.” Her
head nodded as an added way of convincing herself it was possible. Then she
turned to face the ocean. It was like a black pit of tar that stretch on and on
until the darkness of the deep met up with the night’s sky. Her imagination brought
to life an awful image of a sticky tar-monster waiting to snatch her by the ankles,
its goey arms traveling up her legs and holding fast.
“Don’t
look at anything but your feet, Safire. Concentrate on your feet and nothing
else. Dip your toes in the water. It won’t harm you, it will only caress you. Feel
how warm and gentle and safe the ocean is.”
“Safe,”
she repeated doubtingly. The word seemed inaccurate. Safe things didn’t pull
people under and drown them.
She
focused on her bare feet peppered with freckles, determined to keep both eyes
fixed on her toes. Aquarius assisted by voicing instructions that seemed easy
enough to follow. His words fell on her ears in low whispers that seemed to
float in the breeze past her shoulders. The harder she concentrated on his voice,
the more intimate and persuasive it felt. Anxiety that normally tensed every
muscle in her body seemed to melt away like wax, dripping impotent. Though the
air grew cooler, the water remained warm. And it was gentle, languid, pooled at
her ankles—no real threat.
She
pressed forward, taking small steps at Aquarius’ insistence. Her mind fixed
onto his simple commands, allowing them to direct her moves. His tone offered
comfort… like the warm water now pooled at her calves—no threat at all.
“You’re
doing wonderfully, Safire. Take another step, yes, that’s right. Very good. The
water loves your skin; it welcomes you. Feel how it kisses your legs and chases
away the cold. It’s gratifying, Safire, so pleasant and desirable. Take another
step.”
It
was the feeling of walking on clouds in a way. Aquarius’ voice wrapped around
her mind in a spellbinding manner that—like the sweetest of lullabies— pacified
all the irrational fears she had battle for years. Her eyes, still focused on
the blurred shape of her feet in the water, fell heavily entranced and slid closed
under the weight. The ocean had receded as though declaring that it feared her
more than she feared it. What a childish and silly fear to have kept her from
the warmth of a calm and gentle ocean. She took a bolder step forward where the
water rose to her knees—no real threat at all.
“Excellent,
Safire. Imagine how the sea could hold you if you’d let it. Imagine it warming
your arms as it does your legs. There is no danger, Safire, I promise. Go on—go
on… take another step.”
And
so she did… and then another, sinking into warmth, allowing the vast ocean to caress
her thighs. It was background noise that broke through first, the sound
conjuring up a mental image of waterfalls producing an impressive amount of spray.
Her eyes opened, unable to ignore the rumble. She gasped in response to an
incoming wave. With the trance severed, panic reclaimed her, gripping like a
vise around her heart and lungs. The ocean rose swiftly to catch her waist and
shove her rearward. She reached for Aquarius, expecting him to be as near as
his voice had sounded, but no one was there to take her hand. Scrambling to
keep upright, her feet flailed underwater, barely managing the task. She
twisted around in the hostile ocean and struggled for shore. Aquarius stood on
the sand, watching… waiting. He failed to come forward until her feet hit dry
land where he took her by the wrists, keeping her at bay. He offered a shower
of congratulations.
“You
did it! You did it, Safire, you braved the water all on your own!”
She
hated the smile on his face, how he seemed blind to the danger she had narrowly
escaped. “I nearly drowned, thanks to you!”
His
expression transformed in a blink, instantly concerned. “No, no, no, that’s not
the case at all…”
“Yes
it is!” she barked. “I almost went under!”
“But
you didn’t,” he said. “And if you had gone under, you would have resurfaced
easily. You were never at risk, Safire. Never.” He appeared sincere—his dark
eyes begging her to believe him.
“I thought
you were right behind me. Why didn’t you walk with me?”
“This
was for you to do alone. And you did it. You did well.”
“I
panicked; I thought that wave was going to drag me under.”
“But
it didn’t.” Aquarius waited a moment for her to breathe easier and then
complimented her again. “You faced your fear, Safire, beautifully. You stepped
into the water all on your own. And you went much further in than I thought you
would.”
“Further
than I should have.”
“Perhaps…
but you did so well. You entered the ocean! And you didn’t drown! You didn’t
drown!”
All
she could do was nod. He was right. Her worst fear, and it had not come to
pass. The water had not come alive in the form of some hungry sea serpent determined
to claim her.
“You
should be proud of this achievement.”
“It
was scary.”
“I
know, and yet you braved it. That’s all you need remember.”
She
nodded in agreement but not wholeheartedly. Her hands moved to rub at her arms,
hoping to find warmth. The night felt colder now with her dress soaked.
“Come
with me,” Aquarius gestured.
He took
her by the hand and hurried along the beach in the direction from which they
had come, past the outdoor deck lit up in white lights, and on to an area where
grass pushed through a shore composed of more soil than sand. He stopped to
help her maneuver down a low embankment that deposited them in an enclosed
pocket of earth. The inlet housed a cold fire pit and a long hollow log meant
for seating. Safire recalled the few perfect evenings they had spent in this
private hole, warmed by a glowing fire and heated kisses.
Aquarius
was quick to get a blaze burning whereby Safire dried off. It was not long
before she found herself in his arms again, huddled near the flames, searching overhead
for constellations. Stars alone claimed the night sky by the time he walked her
home. They stood facing one another near the outdoor deck and kissed goodnight.
When Aquarius removed his encircling arms from her waist and took a step back as
if he would leave, she prevented him with a question.
“Would
you like to come in for a bit?”
He
smiled and refused her kindly. “Thank you, but no. It’s getting late.”
The
thought of him walking away bothered her. “It’s just me here, Aquarius. No one
else is home.”
“Are
you concerned about being alone?”
She shook
her head in honest answer. “No, not really.”
Again,
he smiled. “Then I will come see you in the morning.”
This
news served to ease her concern over parting with him. “Okay. ‘Til morning,
then.”
“Goodnight,
Safire.”
“Goodnight.”
She
was the first one waiting outside at sunrise, sitting on the deck, awing over
pastel clouds that were chasing off the gray of twilight. The air was
completely still, and though a chill touched her skin she could tell the morning
would warm up enough to justify the sundress she had chosen to wear. Sandals
dangled from her toes in a roseate color that matched her outfit perfectly. It
was only a short time before she spotted a lone figure headed her direction. A clean
white shirt was tucked into his tan shorts, the collar worn high, as usual, to
conceal the scars on his neck. It was curious to her how he worked so hard to
keep them hidden. She had caught only a glimpse of the scratch marks the first
time they shared a kiss. After that, he was careful to cover them up. She
wondered how indelicate it would be to ask him how exactly they came about.
“Good
morning, Safire. Did you sleep well?”
“Yes,
I truly did.” She smiled, recalling pleasant dreams that had included him.
Aquarius
took her by the hand as she hopped down the steps to meet him. “Are you
hungry?”
“Most
definitely.”
Breakfast
felt like déja vu, a near
repeat of their first date. They ate at the same restaurant, were served identical
crepes drizzled with honey, and enjoyed light conversation mixed with pleasant stretches
of silence. At the end of their meal, Aquarius offered to walk her home. She
was immediately saddened.
“But
I thought I would spend the day with you.”
“I’m
sorry, Safire. I’d love to keep your company, truly, but other obligations
require my attention.”
Disappointment
wilted her countenance substantially. “It’s a holiday, though—a three-day
weekend.”
“You’re
right; however, for me it’s more complicated. I’m needed in the water. Nature
doesn’t pause for holidays.”
“Not
even for one day?”
He
made a sorry face.
Safire
pled for a compromise. She had nothing else to do. He was her only reason for
being at the beach. “Isn’t there someone who could take your place today? A supervisor
or a co-worker?”
Aquarius
shook his head and frowned at her desperation. Taking her hand, he squeezed her
fingers tenderly. “Safire, you must understand that my time in the water is necessary.
I promise, though, it won’t be for the entire day. I’ll come see you as soon as
I can. And I’ll provide dinner for the two of us—a private meal by firelight. It
will be an evening worth waiting for.”
“I
know. It’s just… what am I supposed to do all day? I came here solely to find
you—to be with you.”
Aquarius
appeared conflicted and unsure of what to say. His chest expanded and shrank as
he breathed in deeply, thinking. There was a stretch of silence before he spoke
up again, offering another option.
“There
is an old pier that extends over a cove not far from the house where you’re
staying. You could wait and watch for me there if you’d like. I can surface now
and then to see you, but you’ll have to sit alone for periods of time in
between.”
His
offer lifted her spirits instantly. “I don’t mind. I’d be spending the day
alone anyway.”
“Are
you sure you wouldn’t prefer other activities on the beach?”
“No,
I’d rather be near you.”
He
was noticeably flattered. “Alright then. You should bring something to do while
you wait. Do you have a book to read or a project to work on?”
She
nodded assuredly. “I do. I have a book here in my bag; I almost always carry
one with me.”
“Very
good. Come then, I’ll take you to the place.”
Their
walk kept near the water’s edge where the shoreline underwent a stark
transformation in a short distance. White sands turned to browner soil that
sprouted an abundance of long grasses. Twig-like trees were sparse and then suddenly
thick and tall, surrounded by undergrowth. This miniature woodland fenced off a
calm cove slightly resembling a bowl of beef broth. The water appeared dark and
shaded and was visually impenetrable.
Aquarius
led her onto a long, wooden pier made from weathered planks kept together by red,
rusty nails. The structure floated on the water’s surface like an anchored raft.
Every footstep generated a creak or moan from the pier as if it was an old man protesting
unexpected company. A handrail ran along one side and cut across the narrow
end, fashioned from slender tree trunks bound by heavy vines. Safire glanced
around, unimpressed by the forsaken look of the place, especially the mucky
water.
“You
work here?” she asked, wrinkling up her nose. “You actually dive into that… mud?”
Aquarius
smiled with amusement at her reluctance to embrace the spot. “Yes, I do. I
happen to like this area a lot. It’s more algae than mud—very private and
undisturbed.”
“Oh.
Well, I suppose that’s a good thing when it comes to the preservation of wildlife.”
“It’s
a very good thing—for the preservation of all
life.”
She forced
a weak smile. “I think I prefer cleaner waters.”
Aquarius
laughed but didn’t argue. He motioned for her to have a seat on the end of the pier.
She hesitated, seeing how splintered the wood beneath her sandals appeared, but
eventually she dropped to her knees. Her nervous gaze darted across the sheltered
harbor until Aquarius crouched down beside her, drawing her focus on him. It
hit her that his eyes were exactly like puddles of this mucky cove of which he
seemed so fond.
His
hand cupped her chin before he spoke. “Stay here. Don’t go anywhere,
understand?”
“Yes.”
He
stood up and turned to leave when she quickly asked, “Where are you going?”
He answered
over his shoulder, grinning. “Into the water, of course. Do you want to come
with me?”
“Uh…
no, no. Thanks anyway.”
“Stay
right here then.”
She
nodded tensely and resolved to be happy for the chance to be near him while he
worked.
Minutes
passed like hours as she waited, nervously eyeing her surroundings. The thicket
of skinny trees seemed to curl their clawed limbs with every passing breeze,
beckoning her to leave the pier and come closer. She tried squinting into the underbrush,
certain that unseen animals lurked in the shadows, drooling at the mouth,
anticipating a chance to sneak up on her. Skimming over the black cove, she
imagined sea serpents looking up from the bottom, watching her every anxious move.
When her legs began to prickle with an onset of numbness, she slipped onto her
hip, careful to keep her toes away from the wharf’s edge. How long until
Aquarius surfaced?
She
had nearly curled up into a self-protective ball, unable to crack open her book
for fear of the things prowling about in her imagination, when something warm
and wet clamped onto her ankle. A shrill cry ripped through the air, and her
leg yanked, fighting to break free until a figure rose from the murky water. He
was bare chested with long hair sticking to his face and neck. His expression
struggled between amusement and an apology as he kept a firm grip on her ankle
to prevent being kicked.
“I’m
sorry, I’m sorry,” he said, holding back a laugh. “I swear, I’m truly sorry.”
“Aquarius!”
Safire
exhaled a ragged gust of air. She was naturally upset, but mostly relieved to
find that the fingers binding her ankle were friendly. “You scared me near to
death! Why did you do that?”
Grinning
irrepressibly, he strove to subdue his amusement. “I shouldn’t have, I know,
but I couldn’t resist.”
She
narrowed her eyes, condemning his lame excuse. Again, she breathed in and
out—deep, quivering breaths meant to slow her heartbeat. Aquarius could see he
had seriously shaken her up. His other hand reached from the water to land
gently on her knee.
“I
apologize, Safire. It was cruel of me to sneak up on you.”
She
nodded her agreement yet mumbled, “It’s okay. I’m fine now.” Her ready forgiveness
repainted a smile on Aquarius’ face.
“Are
you enjoying the peace and quiet here?”
She
shrugged uneasily. “I’ve been trying to, but…”
“Is
there a problem?”
“No…
not really… it’s just that… this place is a little bit… eerie.”
“Eerie?”
She
waved off her apprehensions. “Never mind, it’s silly.”
Aquarius
smiled perceptively, regarding her anxious behavior. “You have an enviable
imagination, Safire. Unfortunately, you let it control you. There is nothing
here to fear—no werewolves skulking behind the trees or selkies staring up from
the water.”
She
laughed at the absurdity of his remark. Of course no mythical creatures like
werewolves were hiding in wait; that would be ridiculous. An actual gray wolf—maybe.
She blushed with embarrassment, partly because he was right about imaginings influencing
her, and partly because this flaw in her was apparently obvious.
A
gentle, comforting pat wet her knee. “I wouldn’t bring you anywhere unsafe. Trust
me, Safire.”
His
reassurance did make her feel better.
Aquarius
brushed his hand along her leg, down to where her heel rested in his cupped
palm. He slipped off her sandal and set it aside. She allowed him to do the
same with her other shoe, but when he tugged on her ankles as if urging her to abandon
the pier and enter the water, she immediately objected.
“No,
no, I… I can’t—I don’t know how deep it…”
“Calm
down, Safire. I just want your feet, that’s all. You can dip your toes in the
water, I know you can, you’ve proven as much.”
She
froze, considering his request.
He rubbed
her ankle to gently encourage her. “It’s warm, you’ll like it. And I promise no
fish or sea monsters will bother you.”
“Are
you sure about that?”
“Yes,
I’m sure. Trust me.”
As
if testing a bowl of hot soup, she reached down and touched the surface with
her toe and then immediately recoiled. Aquarius laughed at her wariness and urged
her on. “It will relax you, Safire. And here you don’t have to worry about any
waves rolling in to catch you off guard.”
“That’s
a relief,” she said, able to laugh at herself this time around.
Resolving
to face her childhood fear a second time, she knocked her knees together and stabbed
both feet into the black liquid—a swift, decisive move. It felt as if the water
had been heated by sunlight, warmer than the air above it.
Aquarius
rested his hands on her knees. “It’s nice, isn’t it?”
“Yes,
it actually is.”
“Now
you can soak your feet while you read your book.”
She
nodded but still conveyed some lingering unease.
“Trust
me.”
“I
do.”
“Do
you?”
“Yes,
I do.”
“Kiss
me then.”
She
smiled and leaned forward as he rose higher out of the water, exposing his full,
naked chest. A fair amount of hair covered him, black like his curls. His skin
was paler than expected for someone who worked outdoors. But he labored in the
water, not in the sun.
Aquarius
let her hand fall on him as she sought support reaching for a kiss. It was
obvious she trusted him. He tested this truth by inching backwards, making her
give up her balance to stay with him. Though her fingers tried clamping onto
his skin, she did not attempt to shove away or snatch onto the pier. He smiled with
satisfaction and then moved in closer, delivering the kiss she craved.
His
fingers massaged her thighs as their lips pressed together, soft and pliant
like clay forming around a mold. She made the sweetest sounds of pleasure—sounds
that drew him closer, making him less careful than he ought to have been. As
their kisses intensified, her hand naturally moved to reach for his hair. Her
fingers slipped under the wet strands, touching the cuts on his neck. They felt
wet and oily. Aquarius reacted by grabbing her hand and yanking it away,
keeping a tight hold on her wrist. He was instantly sorry for the shock on her
face.
“I’m
sorry, Aquarius, I didn’t mean to… I wasn’t trying to touch your scars.”
He
slackened his hold on her. “No, no, it’s me; I overreacted.”
But
she felt awful for how a simple touch had affected him. “I shouldn’t have… I know
you’re sensitive about it. I apologize.”
“Don’t
Safire, please.” His face was tight—flickering between signs of worry and regret.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me. I’m sorry, I just can’t…”
She
wanted to hear what he stopped short of saying, so she pressed him to finish
his sentence. “You can’t what?”
He
muttered the truth. “I can’t trust you. And yet I have asked you to trust me. I’m
being completely unfair.”
She
didn’t know what to say. Boldly, she inquired about the marks on his neck. “Where
did you get them? How did it happen?”
She
waited and watched him struggle, his expression altering between looks of agony
and sorrow. She was patient as he thought out an answer. A safe answer.
“I
was a boy when it happened—the result of disobedience. It was a hard
experience. Maybe someday I will tell you more.”
She
was disappointed to learn so little, but she nodded that it was okay. Apparently,
the wound went deeper than his scars.
Aquarius
sunk in the water and began to float away from the pier.
“Wait,
no, please don’t go!” Safire begged out of concern for him. “I don’t want you
to go away upset.”
“I’m
not upset. I’m fine.” He gave her a weak smile.
She
thought the look was sad. Determined to keep him there, she bombarded him with
questions. “What about your gear and your tools? How will you breathe in the
water without a tank? What if you need help? Where are the other divers?”
Her
desperation was enough to make him stop and laugh. “It’s okay, Safire, calm
down. I’m fine, and I will be fine underwater. I work alone. I have everything
I need, don’t worry. Read your book. And try not to fret about werewolves while
I’m gone.”
She
was happy to see him smile more genuinely. “I’ll wait for you here. Don’t be
long.”
He
slipped beneath the surface without another word. Safire tried to see into the dark
liquid, but only a reflection of the encircling thicket stared back at her.
It
was hard to gauge the passing of time, but soon enough the story in her book managed
to claim her attention. It turned out to be a suspenseful tale that raised odd questions
about the characters, persuading her to read the next page with heightened
anticipation. She kept her feet submerged for a long time, lazily lifting one
leg and then letting it slowly sink back down while lifting the other. Eventually,
both legs came out to dry on the deck. Aquarius resurfaced shortly after. He
made his presence known by splashing the girl on the pier with an angled slap
against the seawater. Safire squealed and held up her book like a shield before
daring to peek around the pages.
“You’re
back!”
“I
am. And it looks like you’ve been reading. Is the story any good?”
“Very,
although I’m starting to wonder if I can trust the main character.”
“Why
is that?”
“Well,
he’s supposedly a good guy, at least you start out thinking he is. For most of
the beginning he’s involved in searching for this missing girl, avid about
hunting for clues as to her whereabouts. But then strange things happen—what
seem like chance occurrences—that result in him taking over the case. Everyone’s
relying on him to track down this girl and catch her abductor. Time and again
he seems hot on the trail only to end out just minutes shy of capturing the
culprit. It’s suspicious. The more I read, the more I wonder if he’s not a good
guy at all but the actual scoundrel he’s pretending to hunt down.”
“I
can see why your imagination spooks you so effectively, reading books like
that.”
Safire
grinned guiltily. “You’re right, but it’s so easy to get hooked on these
page-turners.”
“At
least you’re keeping entertained. I just wanted to check on you.”
Her good
mood faded at once. “Wait, you’re leaving again? What about lunch? It has to be
close to noon.”
Aquarius
kept a straight face as he produced a handful of glistening seaweed from out of
the water. He announced, “I brought lunch. Would you like to jump in and dine
with me?”
Safire
crumpled her nose and curled her upper lip. “You’re kidding, right?”
“No,
actually, it’s edible and highly nutritious.” He took a bite to prove it. “Care
to try some?”
Her
expression shifted to one of utter disgust. “You stand a better chance of
getting me to swim across this mud hole.”
Aquarius
gave up and laughed aloud. “You haven’t even given it an honest try.”
“Starvation
couldn’t get me to eat that stuff. Sorry, but I prefer real food.”
“This is real food.”
“For
a fish, maybe.”
Aquarius
tsked his disapproval at the girl. “Oh, Safire. I’m afraid you’ll have to go
seek out something to your liking then.”
“Won’t
you come with me?”
His
brow creased in apology. “Dinner tonight, I promise.”
She
tried to hide her depth of disappointment while saying she understood, but it
was hard to entirely conceal her feelings. Aquarius approached as she stood to
slip on her sandals. His forearms rested on the floating pier. He watched her
tuck a paperback book into her shoulder bag. Safire forced a smile looking down
on him, his wet curls limp under the weight of dampness.
“Will
you at least walk me back to the main beach?” she asked. Hope showed plainly in
the way she constrained an inhale, biting down on her lip.
Aquarius
motioned for her to kneel on the pier once more. He rose up higher as she leaned
down until their lips met in a soft, wet kiss. Aquarius then made his feelings
very clear, his dark eyes fixed on her with a depth of gravity.
“You
must believe me when I tell you it is torture to spend this time apart. All I
want is to be with you, Safire, right at your side. You have no idea how great my
restraint is not to reach out and take you in my arms this very minute and pull
you into the water. I would share my world with you. I ache to show you everything
of importance to me, to watch your face light up with wonder! I long to reveal how
I spend my hours here as a matter of necessity. But I understand your fear of
water, and I sense the suffering it would cause if I were to force you to join
me. The choice must be yours. And so I cannot do what I ardently yearn to do. I
am sorry that I’m unable to spend more time on the shore in your company. I
wish the case were otherwise.”
“I
understand,” she sighed, “your work is in the ocean.”
“My life is in the ocean.”
She
nodded, not entirely grasping his passion. “Okay.”
Aquarius
ran his hand along her cheek, troubled by her continuing frown. “Not okay.”
She
didn’t deny it.
“But
it will be okay tonight when we’re together.”
Again
she nodded. “Yes.”
It
was a melancholy parting, both parties forcing a happier expression for the
other’s sake. Following a trail that led her outside the trees, Safire
considered napping the remainder of the afternoon away. Perhaps the time would pass
more swiftly until Aquarius could join her.
Nearing
the beach house, she was surprised to find Wade on the rear deck, peering inside
the house through a set of glass doors. It was even more surprising to see the
look of immense relief take shape on his face when he turned around and spotted
her approaching.
“Where
in the blue blazes have you been, Saffy?”
Safire
gestured behind her. “On the beach, where most people go when they come to the
ocean.”
“Yeah,
but I combed that beach, and there was no sign or sight of you anywhere. And
last night when I came to check on you—no answer. Brook said you haven’t
returned one phone call or text since you arrived. You had me worrying like a neurotic
mother hen!”
She
shoved a hand in her purse, hunting for the cell phone she was pretty sure had
been left on the bathroom counter in her haste to get to Aquarius that morning.
“You called Brook?” she asked, readily giving up her search.
“No,
she called me, fretting about you.”
Safire’s
form slumped guiltily. “Oh, sorry.”
“But
the good news is we talked things out, thanks to you.”
“Really?
I’m glad to hear that.”
“Yeah,
well… I’m just seriously relieved to see you’re okay. Where have you been?”
“With
Aquarius.”
Wade’s
blue eyes grew wide. “Honestly? You found the guy?”
“Yes.
Well, actually, he found me.”
“I’ll
be darned. I haven’t seen head nor tail of the dude anywhere around. Where’s he
been hiding out all this time?”
“In
the water. He said he spotted me on the beach yesterday and sort of followed me
here.” Safire gestured to the house.
“So,
where have you two been hanging out since then? Because I know I didn’t see
that pretty gold hair of yours anywhere on the beach today.”
Safire
blushed at the compliment. “No, you’re right. Aquarius had to work, and he
invited me to wait for him. I’ve been reading a book, sitting on this wooden pier
behind the trees.” She pointed in the general direction of the area.
“I
know the place. You want to be careful around that old hunk of driftwood; it’s rotted
and falling apart. I wouldn’t lean on the handrail unless you care to take a slimy
swim, if you know what I mean.”
She
nodded her awareness of the fact.
“So,
where’s Aquarius now?”
“Still
working.”
“In
that nasty cove? You mean he actually swims in there?”
“Yes.”
Wade
screwed up his face disgustedly. “Ick.”
Safire
agreed, laughing at the way a disturbing shiver traveled down his spine.
“Does
this mean you’re free for a while then? Want to go get a bite to eat? It’ll be
my treat.”
Wade
looked eager, but Safire hesitated, having determined to rest up before
Aquarius came calling. “Uh…well…” Then again, she was hungry. And Wade had been
good enough to play private investigator all morning looking for her.
Wade
nudged her with an elbow, trying to be convincing. “Come on, Saffy, just you
and me. We can hit the hamburger joint and celebrate our reuniting with significant
others over a plate of cheese-drowned fries.”
She
couldn’t keep from laughing at the way he rubbed his hands together, salivating.
“Okay,
Wade, just you and me and a plate of cheesy fries.”
“And
a couple of bacon, double-cheese burgers with extra pickles.”
“That
too.”
“Yes!”
Wade
threw a jubilant punch at the air and then made Safire run inside the house to
retrieve her phone. He then insisted she use it to make a quick call to Brook. Her
best friend first dealt out a harsh scolding for being the cause of a sleepless
night and a major panic attack. Then she squealed with delight at Safire’s news
of finding Aquarius and succumbing to a love sickness so potent that she forgot
to text her best friend a single word about it.
Lunch
with Wade passed a good portion of the afternoon pleasantly. At first their
conversation revolved around everything Safire knew and cared to divulge on the
subject of her best friend, Brook. Wade asked questions ranging from valid-in-a-budding-relationship
to off-the-wall-bizarre, like “If she had to room with a gorilla, who do you
think would get the top bunk, Brook or the ape?” Safire nearly blew soda out of
her nostrils more than once in response to Wade’s random questions. He was a
card, no denying it
Their
lunch date ended with a few inquiries about Aquarius. Wade grew increasingly sober
as it became apparent Safire was ignorant of a major amount of basic
information.
“So
you don’t know where he’s from or where he was born?”
“No,
he never said.”
“Did
he say anything about his family?”
“Well…
no.”
“Do
you know how old he is?”
She
made a face that amounted to “no.”
“Saffy,
haven’t you asked him anything?”
“I
don’t like to pry. I mean, it seems that most people share what they feel
comfortable sharing.”
“But
the guy’s a complete mystery to you.”
“Not
entirely.”
“Okay,
what’s his favorite color?”
She
shrugged. “That’s not really important, is it?”
“What’s
his phone number then?”
“He
said he’d share that with me later.”
Wade’s
brow tightened. “You still don’t have his phone number?”
“No,
not yet, but I will get it.”
“Okay,
well, what does the guy do for a living?”
“This
one I know; he’s a marine ecologist… or something like that. He works in the
ocean.”
“Doing
what exactly?”
Her
shoulders inched up again. “I don’t know exactly
what he does, but I know he’s out there right now, which proves he works
underwater.” She sighed with an air of frustration, growing irritated at being
drilled like some adolescent on a first date. Wade took the hint.
“Alright,
alright, it’s none of my business. But honestly, Saf, I think you ought to ask
a few more questions. If the guy holds back, that’s a red flag. You need to be
careful. Maybe he’s got something to hide… like a wife and kids perhaps?”
“I
appreciate your concern.”
“Just
doing my job. You know Brook would kill me if I didn’t watch out for you while
you’re here.”
Safire
had to smile at the truth. “Thanks for checking up on me… and for lunch. It was
nice.”
The temperature
felt twenty degrees cooler when Safire awoke to a noise that did not quite
register in her groggy mind. It took a moment to figure out she had been asleep.
Her eyes flickered open to find shadows on the wall scarcely darker than the
surrounding nightfall. Silver moonbeams streamed across the ceiling, painting
the room and all its furniture gray. The noise sounded again. This time it was discernible…
tapping against heavy glass.
What
time was it?
Safire
sat up, realizing she had passed out on the couch.
Another
knock. The back door. Aquarius!
She sprang
from the cushions and ran to where he stood in his tan shorts, waiting for her behind
a glass barrier. Unlatching the lock, she apologized profusely through the widening
entryway.
“I’m
so sorry… I must have fallen asleep.”
Her
fingers worked like a comb, then an eyelash brush, and finally a flat iron
trying to tidy up her appearance. She wished for a mirror, concerned about
smeared mascara.
“Stop
fussing, Safire, you look lovely—more breathtaking than the full moon in its splendor.”
She blushed
and self-consciously raked a hand through her hair. “You flatter me.”
“I only
speak truth. Never insincere.”
Safire
smiled while flickering a glance at the white moon beyond. “It’s not actually a
full moon,” she noticed.
Aquarius
turned his head to examine the same celestial body.
“Can
you see?” she asked him, “where there’s a sliver missing?”
“Ah,
you’re right. Perhaps tomorrow it will be whole.” He turned to face her again, extending
his hand through the doorway. “Are you ready to go?”
She
nodded, linking fingers with his, and stepped outside to join him.
Their
dinner date was indeed worth the wait, consisting of a roasted meal over a
campfire (all vegetables minus any hint of seaweed) followed by stargazing and
a quiet walk on the beach.
Safire
was pointing up at the sky, Aquarius’ arm around her waist, as they strolled
side by side. “Do you see it? Your constellation?”
“I
see it every night now that you’ve shown me what to look for. The god of rain. He
sits in the water with Cetus and Pisces.”
She
grinned her satisfaction. “He does.”
Aquarius
went on, squinting up at the stars. “I can see him in the water right now with
a lovely goddess at his side. Yes, yes, she’s standing next to him, a bit
shorter than he, near Cetus. Do you see her?”
Safire
scrunched her eyes, examining an area of space sprinkled with a trail of dimmer
stars. “What are you talking about?”
Aquarius
pointed at the heavens. “That’s her, walking on water with her hand in the
tipped vase carried by the god of rain. Tell me you see her; she’s right in
plain sight. They call her the goddess of the mist—so named because of her
power to transform the seas into clouds. She does this to walk on them without fear
of drowning.”
“The
goddess of the mist, huh? What is her name?”
“Safire,
of course.”
She
groaned, realizing he had conceived a tall tale.
“It’s
true!”
“It
is not. You totally made that up.”
“Never.
She is the goddess of the mist, and I have dubbed her Safire—and so it is.”
“It
is a lie and a fairy tale.”
“All
truth starts out as a wish; hence, reality is born from fairy tale.”
That
was a challenging line to argue against. She ceded because of his kind
insistence. “It’s a beautiful fairy tale. I love it—thank you.”
It
was the blackest time of night when Aquarius walked Safire home. He left her at
the door with a shower of goodnight kisses, refusing a second invite inside.
“I
will see you tomorrow morning.”
Reluctantly,
she let his fingers slip away from her own. His form disappeared in the darkness,
somewhere along the seashore, before she turned away from the window and headed
for bed.
Sunday
dawned by means of a pumpkin-colored sunrise and a rainbow of emotions. Safire
was excited to have the day to spend with Aquarius, at least a portion of it
anyway, but at the same time she battled a bluer mood knowing her departure
date was the very next day. Tomorrow night would find her twelve hours away from
this amazing man whom Wade had called a mystery. The word did seem accurate. At
breakfast, a prolonged silence found her mentally sifting through questions, praying
for the courage to ask any one of them.
“Is
something troubling you, Safire?”
She
lowered her face, embarrassed by the fact that he read her so easily.
“Actually,
yes,” she admitted. “I was just wondering if you wouldn’t mind telling me a
little more about yourself. I really like you, Aquarius. I want to know more
about the man I’m growing very fond of.”
His
hand moved to warm hers, squeezing tenderly in the process. “What do you wish
to know?”
She
was happy he seemed willing. “For starters…… how… how old are you?”
“A thousand-forty-five
years… approximately.”
A
feeble smile acknowledged a sense of humor she did not entirely appreciate. Perhaps
he was not as willing as she had assumed. Maybe Wade was right, and the man had
something to hide.
“You
don’t believe me.”
Safire
raised an eyebrow at him. “Why not simply give me a straight answer?”
He
frowned. “Does my age matter that much to you?”
“Um…no,
not really. But to respond to my question with an absurd…”
“Thirty-eight.”
“Excuse
me?”
“An
age. You wanted to know.”
“Oh,
right.”
“Ask
me another. I will tell you what you want to hear.”
That
seemed an odd thing to say. “I want to hear the truth, Aquarius. Nothing else.”
He
nodded without smiling. “Ask me then.”
Safire
decided it was time to be bold. If he was intending to break her heart, he
should do it before anymore fantasies were wasted in his arms.
“Are
you married?”
“No,
ma’am, I am not.”
That
was a relief. “Ma’am,” she repeated, disturbed by the formal label. “Why did
you call me that?”
“Why
do you suddenly not trust me?”
“Why
do you not trust me?”
That
question stopped him cold, and it unnerved him in a way she had never seen. His
countenance drained of color, leaving him wan and pasty. His hands fisted
before disappearing under the table. It spooked her to see his eyes dart about,
glancing over the table, focusing on nothing.
“Aquarius?
What’s wrong? Talk to me.”
Her
soft beseeching seemed to draw him back, yet he spoke to her with downcast eyes.
“I
want to trust you, Safire, more than anything. I would like for you to know me.
I do not lie to you; I have nothing to hide
from you. But I do have things to…
protect.” His brown eyes shot up, intense, focused, and imploring. “There
is a difference, do you understand?”
She
wanted to say yes, but her head shook of its own accord. “Why can’t you just
tell me what it is you want to tell me?”
“Because
I…” His brow seemed to crease so tightly it appeared painful. Out of the blue he
asked a question. “Will you come in the water with me? Right now this very
minute, don’t think about it, just hold my hand and run into the waves. Come
now, take a swim with me.”
She
could feel her heart jump clear into her throat as she struggled to breathe
amid an onset of anxiety. Her mouth moved as if she would speak, but no air
existed to relay the words. Aquarius spoke up before she could manage.
“It’s
okay, Safire, forget it. But for the same reason that you can’t bring yourself
to face the water, for this very reason, I protect secrets I wish with all my
heart I could…”
Her
voice cut in, saving him the effort of an explanation. “I understand. I do. I
get it.”
“Do
you?”
She nodded
in quick jerks.
He
took her hands in his own and moved in closer. “Look at me, Safire.”
She
did, somewhat ashamed, trying to hide it.
“None
of this changes how I feel about you. I love you.”
All
at once there were no burdensome concerns. He loved her. He said so.
“I
do, Safire. I love you.”
“I
love you too.”
“I
know.” She blushed—again an open book.
“Would
you like to ask me anymore questions?”
“Oh…
I, uh…” She felt bemused and unable to think straight. Only one question popped
into her head. “Yes, um…… what is your favorite color?”
He
smiled broadly before answering. “Green.”
The day
lapsed as if the goddess of the mist really did live within her—forming clouds for
her bare feet to dance across while the words, I love you, rang in a repeated loop in her mind. She waited all afternoon
for him on the pier, greeting Aquarius with a smile and a kiss whenever he
surfaced from that black pool in which he spent hours hiding. Nothing seemed
able to yank her head from the clouds until the sun went down and the moon—at
its fullest and brightest—shone like a spotlight on two lovebirds. They were lying
in each other’s arms, staring at their constellations overhead, but Safire’s
thoughts were hung up on reality. This was the gravity that pulled her to Earth.
She finally said the words aloud.
“I’m
supposed to go home tomorrow.”
Her
only answer was silence, so she went on with what she was thinking.
“I
was considering skipping a day of work to stay here a little longer. I thought
I might call in sick.”
Aquarius
stirred but said nothing. His gaze remained fixed on the night sky.
She
prompted him to speak. “I was wondering what you think I should do.”
It
took a moment, but he did give her an answer, uttering it to the stars. “I
think you should call and tell them you won’t ever be coming back. I think you
should stay here with me.”
When
he didn’t turn to look at her, she lifted herself up from the sand and leaned
over him, putting her face in his, forcing him to see her. “Do you really mean
that?”
“Yes,
I do.”
She
was speechless. There were a hundred questions needing to be asked, but where
to start?
Safire
dropped back onto the sand, wanting a moment to think it over. The moon was
eclipsed by Aquarius’ head as he leaned across her this time, his nose nearly
touching her own. He voiced an invitation that made her heart drum against her
ribcage.
“If
you go, I will miss you sorely, and you will miss me. It will be worse than
before—a pain I don’t wish to suffer. I know there are things to work out, but
we will find a way. Stay here. Don’t go.”
“Stay
where exactly?”
He glanced
away for a moment, toward the rumbling ocean.
“Do
you live in this area? Because I thought you said this was a work assignment
and that you move around to different places.”
“I
do move, quite often.”
“And
you want me to… follow you?”
“To come
with me, yes.”
She
swallowed hard, struggling with the next question on her mind. “Would there be
some sort of, uh… like a commitment involved with some kind of written or
verbal promises of some form?”
Aquarius’
lips thinned into his familiar, perceptive smile. “Are you talking about
marriage?”
“Uh…
maybe? Or, well… yes.”
“Is marriage
what you want?”
She
shrugged and nodded at the same time.
He
laughed at her struggle to express her desires without distressing him. “If
marriage is your wish, then I will grant it for you.”
“What
about you? What do you want?”
“To
be with you forever.”
His
words were nectar to her ears. “Then I do want marriage. To you, that is.”
“And
I to you, my goddess of the mist. It will be done.”
It
was a strange feeling that swirled inside of her, a euphoria. But the feeling
was not pure. Mild anxiety disturbed her warier side, like a thorn needing
attention prior to gaining lasting relief. The more she contemplated the vast
amount of uncertainties involved in a future with this mysterious man, the more
her anxiety increased. She soon felt the need to take a step back in order to
proceed in a wiser, more careful manner.
“Aquarius?”
“Yes?”
She
hesitated, hoping to approach him the right way. A request for his phone number
came out first.
“My
number? Why?”
“To
call you.”
He
sat up with worry on his brow and turned to face her. She copied his move.
“What’s
wrong, Safire?”
“Nothing
really, it’s just…… I think it would be—” She paused to find an appropriate
word. “—irresponsible… yes, it would be irresponsible for me to up and leave my
job and my apartment and my friends without any notice or goodbyes or packing
up my stuff and tying up loose ends at home. It would give us a few weeks maybe
to talk out the details over the phone.”
“Are
you having second thoughts?”
“No,
no, not at all. But I… I have to go back for a few days at least… to say
goodbye. And we—” She gestured between them. “—we have a wedding to plan and
things to discuss before I just up and follow you wherever it is that I’m going
to be following you. I mean, what are we… me… I… what am I going to do—be doing, I mean, when you’re out in the ocean all
day long?”
Aquarius
curled his lips under and bit down on them, which hampered her ability to interpret
any expression on his face. His unblinking stare made her wish he would say
something. When a faint smile emerged, she was somewhat relieved. He took her
hand and held it, finally uttering a word.
“Okay.”
“Okay…
you understand?”
“Yes,
I do. I was being selfish asking you to desert a life that clearly is dear to
you. You should return and do what you must. I will miss you terribly while
you’re gone. And I will hope that you come back to me.”
“Of
course I will,” she insisted. “And I’ll call you every day we’re apart, I
promise. All I need is your number.”
He
nodded, agreeing. “We’ll take care of that later. Right now, I should walk you
home. It’s getting late, and if you plan to drive a long distance tomorrow you would
do well to get some sleep.”
They
walked hand in hand up to the beach house without a word passing between them. At
the foot of the deck, Aquarius kissed her passionately before planting a single
peck on her forehead.
“Goodnight,
Safire.”
“Wait,
what about your phone number?”
Again
he kissed her, a soft press on the nose. “Tomorrow.”
She
did not understand why he refused to simply recite the numbers aloud. “I’ll
remember if you tell me.”
He
seemed to think before responding. “It will give me a reason to see you off in
the morning. Now go to sleep. Dream of me.”
Rather
than argue, she gave in. “Goodnight, Aquarius. I will. Until tomorrow.”
He
turned away from her and stepped in the direction of the seashore. She watched
him fade into the night, wondering if it was an illusion that his steps seemed
to increase the further away he ran.
She
turned to the house and unlocked the back door when it hit her that she had
indeed observed him running…… running away. He was running away from
her! This was going to be exactly like the last time—he would not show in the
morning. He never planned to. And he had refused her his number which meant she
would have no way to contact him.
“No,
no, no,” she breathed, looking out at the ocean. She dashed after him, in
search of him, racing as fast as the sand would allow her to travel. All was
deserted along either stretch of shoreline. No sign of his tall form came into view.
She called out his name again and again, desperate to locate him before he ran too
far.
“Aquarius!
Aquarius, wait! Don’t go!”
Surely,
he could hear her; why didn’t he answer? Was he that hurt by her decision to
leave? Had she bruised his feelings, having voiced uncertainty about forsaking everything
to remain with him? Why would a few days apart matter when he knew she loved
him? Or did he doubt her feelings? Did he doubt her? Had she given him reason
to? She had to know!
“Aquarius,
please! Please, come back! Please, talk to me!”
Her
head turned in every direction as she stood in shallow waters, unbothered by spreading
waves that licked her toes and washed her heels. Where had he gone? Which way
should she run? Knowing southern shores were public beachfront, she headed north
to where the sands mixed with heavier soil and grasses. Aquarius was a private
person, which accounted for his love of the secluded cove tucked within the
trees. She continued to call out his name while stumbling down a dirt trail
leading to the rickety, old pier. She hurried as fast as she could manage by
feel, the way barely lit under moonlight filtered through overhanging foliage. There
was no time to be frightened of werewolves or bears or gray wolves. Her only
fear was of losing Aquarius—of losing his affections.
Reaching
the pier, she stopped to cast an eye across the cove. There was no sign of him
anywhere, no evidence he had come this way. Tears formed in her cheeks, recognizing
she had hit a dead end. Where else could he have gone?
“Aquarius!
Aquarius, please, come back!” she cried.
There
was one other place, a refuge he frequented. Underwater, within his beloved
ocean.
Safire
ran the length of the old pier, causing it to dip under her pounding footfall. Her
actions disturbed the black liquid and pushed the pier somewhat adrift. Her
toes curled over the brink as she stopped abruptly where the floating path
ended. Unbalanced by the motion beneath her feet, she grabbed for the makeshift
handrail, seeking a brace with which to reclaim her equilibrium. It snapped
under the weight of her pull, decay having made the wood unsuitable for use. A
scream tore from her lungs as she snatched the vertical end of the rail, but
the wood collapsed and split like a hollow reed. Unable to keep from falling
forward, she crashed headlong into the water.
Altogether
blinded by both the night and the murkiness surrounding her, it became
impossible to discern direction. Safire struggled to swim, hoping her actions
were not in fact submerging her even deeper. It was like wrestling a formless phantom
while being wrapped in suffocating blankets, knowing time was the ultimate
enemy. Her lungs hurt; she had failed to take in a breath of air before going under.
The lack of oxygen tempted her to inhale, but that would mean certain death.
Death.
The
word felt tangible at this point, as if it were a door held open by this black
phantom that had swallowed her whole, now waiting patiently for her to slip
across the threshold. It was her worst fear playing out—a phobia being proven a
prophecy, dreaded since the day her brother had drowned and marked the way.
But
unlike her baby brother, she could swim.
Though
her lungs screamed for air, she deprived them of drawing in the black poison
that continued to disorient her senses. Hoping the surface was only strokes
away, she kicked her legs and paddled with her arms, swimming toward either
life or death. Seconds passed with the ocean still her captor. Unable to deny
her lungs any longer, she sucked in the mucky poison, feeling the heaviness of mortality
enter her chest. In no time at all her muscles fell limp and useless.
Perhaps
her brother would forgive her now.
As
her senses began to fade, she wished for one last chance to see Aquarius. For one
last kiss from the man she loved.
It
was strange how all at once she felt his hands on either side of her face,
holding tight, his forehead pressed against hers. As dark as it was, she could
imagine his wide eyes staring directly into her own. Was this her mind’s reply
to desperation? She longed to say something to him whether he was real or not. She
wanted him to know something… something true but impossible to speak
underwater. Fading further, her eyes closed off the dream, yet her name by some
means echoed in her head as if it were spoken by his lips— shouted from his
mouth.
Death
was a quiet evil, unavoidable like the dark night and defenseless sleep and
tearful sorrows. It had hunted her down and slithered close, wanting only to smother
every last flicker of life.
A
kiss fell against her lips, parting them, forcing in more deadly liquid. It was
a futile action. Next, his mouth was at her neck, spread wide open so as to
clamp against the skin. But it was no kiss he offered. Her body twitched,
muscles taut and stiff, reacting to a real pain she was alive enough to feel. His
sharp teeth sliced into her throat and venom entered, burning along its
spreading path.
He
laid her down on the ocean’s bed, keeping attached to her neck like a leech.
Her
dying thought was a nightmarish image of handsome, vampire selkies possessing a
taste for human blood.